Long time no see

Its been really such a long time since I update my blog. =(

After all the hustle bustle and those awful happenings that I had wish not happened. I really refused to write further in my blog. Felt like withdrawal. But if I have learnt something in my life, its to stand back up to face it and be stronger when something does not kill you.

When I look at the twinkly stars I know that God will be there for me. He has been the only one to pull me through my personal tough times. Personally I am really a person who does not know how to express my feelings properly especially when I feel hurt. Particularly when it comes to my parents. Words just do not come out. Eventually I end up swallowing everything in. No matter how shattered, I know I will be fine because God will be there to pick up the pieces and fit back a better me. And I surrender all.

 Studies have been really awfully stressful for me lately. After class I feel my brains so saturated on every subject that I cant help but reject to continue being a bookworm and feed more information to my brains but jump on my ever so cozy bed to proceed with horizontal thinking. That's what I really enjoy nowadays --sleeping.

And I really fail to be up to date with the new knowledge that I have learnt everyday. 24 hours is seriously not enough. To be successfully managing my time without neglecting any part of my learning, personal time, social stuff, general knowlege, news, practical skills, assignments, and SLEEP. Epic failure. Self discipline and ability to fall asleep at night sucks I guess.

So so so much have happened lately. Few weeks felt like a few months. Every now and then I feel like picking up a headphone lock myself up somewhere to sing out to my heart's content. To make the music that I have known. My gift from God.

The distance between us grew further than the stars. Our hearts cant reach each other. And I will leave it all to God. He brought me to this world and He knows best for me. He knows the pain and the stress. He knows it all before I tell Him. And I believe that He is more important than anything else. Even than my future.

Living in the midst of end times ain't easy. Trying my best to tell people about how great my God is but find myself struggling as well. I am weak. Undeniably. And I really need God to keep me going. And to those people who judge me even before you take time to understand me. God will judge you.

4 hours of  lessons on the same subject tomorrow. I will have to bite my teeth and pull through. On a bright Saturday, which might turn into the end of the world anytime. Any of us are prepared for that? And are we doing anything about being unprepared to leave the world? I shall leave the heart to answer that.

Exam next week. God Bless.